How not to create emotional connection

Dear Lovely Business Owner,

How not to create emotional connection…..

Let me tell you a bit of personal story….

At 8.45am this morning, I was waiting outside the Opticians, not remotely my idea of fun.. au contraire..

there were a million and one other places I’d rather be..

I was so unusually early,

that I even saw the Optician pop to the newsagents to get his paper….

As I waited, I calmed my nerves as I just hate going to the Opticians,

as much as those people who dread the dentist..

I’d just rather avoid it all together and truth be told I have for like…

8 years!!  Shocking but true…

So,  eventually, they opened the door; without as much as a

“ Good morning Miss Eddins, how are you doing this Monday morning.”

Nope. I just about got a: “Do you have an appointment..’

Then I was actually ignored for like 15 minutes, which seemed like forever, to be honest.

You know when you have something to read but you just cannot….

and its like time has slowed down. Well, it was like that.

So, i just resorted reluctantly ( not!) to one of my favourite past times of people-watching,

and there were not exactly many people to watch, ironies of ironies..

just like three people. ..

So, setting the scene, I was in a very small, Opticians,

that was clear, pristine and with two other Staff members in addition to one Optician.

So, taking in the vibe, it was stressed, it was clinical and it was formal and frankly rather cold.

At 9.15am I was approached by one of the Assistants who was friendly enough ..

to go through a few questions for the mandatory forms, which was efficiently done;

with a little, little, little dash of empathy with no apology for keeping me waiting though…

Then the Optician himself ushered me into his room, and I was ready to run, to be honest.

I was ready to run like Usain Bolt….

yes that fast, I mean in my dreams running like Usain, who i am in kidding,

but in my head, I was sprinting like a World & Olympic champ out of there..

Just sitting in that chair, felt horrid, and always has done to me.

Why? Mostly, because it represents limitations.

Mostly because I do not like having my eyes messed with, heavens no !

Mostly, because, I don’t like being in a darkened room with a strange man!

Apart from that, it’s fine…

What was surprising was how my left eye has changed over the last 8 years,

and how I am on the verge of needing glasses. That scared me quite a bit.

Now, you might be wondering.. where’s the Business lesson here Carrie? Be patient.. am

nearly there…

Well, at no point during my time at this Opticians,

did they ask me how I was doing? Nor did they ask me how I was feeling, at all.= No empathy…

They could see from the records that I had not been for 8 years,

and it was not even brought up, not even as a joke, this made me feel like I was just a number to them.

Despite me waiting for 15 minutes, as my scheduled appointment was for 9am,

nobody actually offered me a hot drink,

whilst I was waiting for them to sort out a mini emergency that all three of them,

I could openly see were trying to sort out.

Nope, I was just ignored.

Once the appointment had ended,

after a mini-discussion about me with the Optician,

who was not unfriendly yet I did not warm to him,

it was suggested that I come back every two years for a review.

It was then a cold and clinical goodbye, with the other assistant not even acknowledging me through a

: Goodbye Miss Eddins, have a lovely day….’  Nada.

What are the lessons Carrie?

Aha blonde moment, forgive me. right:

1. In any kind of relationship all anyone ever wants is to be seen, to be valued and heard. This can be done face-to-face quite easily, and if people are tweeting you, face booking you, emailing you, at the very least acknowledge with a thank you, even if you cannot get back to them immediately, the acknowledgement of them will help them to believe that you actually matter to you, and that you are not just a number, or just a transaction, like I felt in the Opticians today.

2. Meet your clients where they are with empathy. This is underrated yet so powerful when it is done. When you just are understanding and accepting of someone, however they show up, you will create an emotional connection with them. When you do not do this, like what happened with me today, when it comes to them needing something that you are selling like glasses, they are often very unlikely to go to you to get them, as they do not feel you understand them, accept them or even care about them….

3. Be welcoming.  Is this just a British thing? Maybe, maybe not. But when someone comes to you, for help, or is interested in your product or service you really want to welcome them, and be friendly to them!! And when you are welcoming they will feel much more inclined to return,  and bring their family and friends with them!! I mean today had they said: “ Have a great day Miss Eddins,” it would have warmed my heart, much much, than a clinical goodbye, that a robot could have said…

Remember there is no one that is perfect at any of the above; such as technical challenges, or time challenges, for example; the most important thing is to actually make an effort with creating emotional connection with your clients and potential clients, as buying is emotional, so you need that emotional connection to encourage them into feel safe enough and to feel ready to buy from you!! 

And if it all goes a bit pear-shaped it is about ‘how to deal with your blondest customer ever,’ post coming soon about this, about how to actually deal with issues and resolve them that even your ‘blondest customer ever,’ would understand and appreciate!

In the meantime, if you know that you need a bit or even a LOT of help with creating emotional connection with your customers and with your audience, and you do not have hours free in your schedule for the next year, then grab my Return on Connection course for 50% off for January only, and I will walk you through the basics of this! http://www.theblondepreneur.com/return-on-connection-course/

I’d love to hear your feedback below!

Love Carrie xx


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Carrie Eddins

  • ooh, sounds like you had a stressful time!
    Oh yes, there is nothing like seeing someone’s eyes light up when they have someone treat them like an individual person, and as you say, in a world of competition it can make *all* the difference!
    Cheers, Gordon

    • CarrieROC says:

      Indeed, it was.. 🙁 Exactly, it makes a world of difference doesn’t it!! Well, it’s everything really hey 🙂 THanks for your comment Gordon, it means a lot 🙂

  • Helen Lindop says:

    Connection is one of those things that’s easy enough to do, so often forgotten and so nice to experience when it does actually happen! I’ve been actively trying to make more of a connection with my content marketing lately, of course I knew I should do it all along but somehow it can get lost under all the strategy, content creation and posting sometimes. Thanks for the reminder!

  • Contact Carrie